It’s now no longer the anniversary of my birth at least on my coast. I’ve said before I’m not too fond of my birthday, or at least don’t see it as a huge deal like many others. It was a little odd, when I woke up, it didn’t feel like my birthday. Not sure it ever did. Not bad, just not like it did when I was younger. Just a part of growing old I suppose. Not surprisingly you readers, and Twitter followers, were some of the first to wish me a happy birthday. Many of you even beat my sister and some close friends to the punch.
Over the course of the day I got several tweets and messages. I thanked you all individually and I apologize if those retweets were irritating , but I wanted to let every person know I appreciated that. Every DM, or tweet really did make me smile. From Mister Rogers(thanks Snatch), to Dr.Seuss(Thanks Mapleleafs), to all the Star Wars themed tweets, the shout outs, and genuinely nice compliments. Thank you!
I’m not positive but it’s quite certain more internet strangers wished me a happy birthday than real life people. As you age, the number of people who you let into your little world, shrinks, and the number of people who cares shrinks too. It’s not a bad thing, it really isn’t. It’s just a slow realization of both your worth, along with remembering life’s too short for those kind of friendships. While I understand that Facebook or Twitter let everyone know today was indeed my bday. I know people didn’t have to say anything, because people didn’t. So thank you for caring enough to do that. You’ve all become some strange part of my life, and I’m not sure how or why, but you did.
This year sucked. It did. I think that we kind of view our birthdays as personal New Years. A fresh start, a new age. A new year to promise yourself you won’t fuck it up, and you will. But you stay hopeful for a bit. Some people love their birthday for the attention. I always say birthdays are always too built up, they’ll never be what you build them to. So stop setting yourself up for that. But I always see my birthday as the turning point in the year nearing the end. The next month is busy, and then it’s 2016. The end of the year of bullshit, and pain, and loss, and idiots, and sadness, and childishness. The closing of that book. I have hopes for 2016. But I suppose we will see. If you’re more dark, a birthday is just another year closer to death, so there’s always that!
This may not have been the best birthday, I may not have had a perfect fun day. But it wasn’t bad either. It was just a day, and that’s good. I could wallow in my pain and misery because that’s easy. The sadness is still there, but for right now it’s contained. I spent a lot of time with the whole family this week and laughed so fucking hard. Hearing about my Pop Pop’s birthdays, and the life he had kind of puts things in perspective. Im thankful I have that family, they aren’t perfect, and I’m not like them, but I’m lucky. I’ll always remember that. I may be lonely, I may want someone to share my thoughts and shit with more. But I have family. Am I lonely? Hell fucking yes. Are the holidays a little tough? Yeah. But there’s still good in this world I think.
I don’t think I’ll be getting to go to Dick Van Dyke’s birthday in DisneyLand, but that’s okay(read: soul crushing). I did get his memoir, and I’m set on Star Wars things. I’ll tweet out a picture of that later. Plus the best gift is the three week mark for The Force Awakens. Fuck yes.
So while birthdays suck, and the world is more fucked than James Deen, today wasn’t horrible. Tomorrow could be, but today was alright. That’s all I can ask for.
But once again, to all of you who wished me a happy day or birthday, THANK YOU! it meant more than you know. To all of you for at any point have sent encouraging or words of understanding to me, thank you. To anyone that gives a flying fuck enough to read this, thank you. You all are being the people Mister Rogers wants you to be. Good job. High fives to you all! Thank you.